What if?
by TheFreakyVoiceInYourHead
Summary: What if... I come in the Winx's Girl's lifes? A lot of bad things, believe me. It's pure humor, evil, nonsense and crazyness, packed up in one story! What else could you wish for? New summary cause some people probably don't read this because I'm in it
1. meet me

**Summary: What if me, myself and I with all my craziness come into the Winx Club's life? They are going threw hell of course! Based on some random doodles I make in reviews, messages or just in my head...**

**Disclaimer: I own Winx Club muhahaha x33**

**Disclaimer 2: I wish I did X33**

**ATTENTION! This story contains pure madness, evil and lots of nonsense. I just felt like writing this, because I'm just crazy x33 don't kill me if something happens you don't like, this story is here for a laugh.**

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The Winx were chatting in the gardens of Alfea, after a hard day of school. Layla was showing some new dance moves to Musa, Stella was babbling something about fashion again, while Bloom listened. Tecna just played a video game with Digit, while Flora cuddled little Kiko. Everything seemed quite normal.

"BANZAAAAAI!" with that, Layla fell face down to the ground, while a girl sat on her back.

"Sorry, I was planning to land on that red-head there!" the girl almost screamed happily in Layla's ear, while pointing to Bloom.

"uhm, excuse me, but what are you doing?" Flora said confused, holding Kiko in her arms.

"Well, I was working on my... BUNNY!!" the girl grabbed Kiko out of Flora's arms, spinning a few times on one leg.

"Go BUNNY!" she yelled, throwing Kiko up high, only seeing a little dot disappearing somewhere in the sky.

"KIKO!!" Bloom screamed. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY?!"

"Anna Sophia Sandra Wilhelmina Helen Olivia Laurentin Evelyn (1) von Squishborg... the twentyfourth!" the girl smiled.

"that's your name? Are you a princess?" Stella exclaimed, probably hoping on some kind of girly, shop-a-holic princess.

"Nah, my name is just Eva, isn't that just great?" Eva said, holding a big, sheepish grin on her face. They all took a step back, a bit scared.

"hey, you want to go chop a tree with me?" Eva said, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Chopping a tree is just cruel!" Flora shivered, thinking of those poor suffering trees.

"Indeed, can't imagine that anybody wants to do that!" Eva agreed with her, nodding.

"But... you just asked if we wanted to chop a tree!" Tecna said, slightly confused.

"How dare you, I never would have thought that you would come up with such a cruel, mean, awful, mad, cruel, bad idea!" with that, Eva burst into tears.

"YOU ALL MAKE ME SOOO SAD!! May I have some chocolate to drown my despair and forget about the world problems?" Eva asked sweetly. Instead of waiting for a reply, she started searching Bloom's bag.

"CHOCOLATE!!" Eva screamed happily, holding up a very large bar of milk chocolate (2).

"That's my chocolate!" Bloom yelled.

"not anymore, mine now!" Eva started nibbling the brown sugar of delight (3).

"why you little.." Eva growled without taking the chocolate out of her mouth, making Bloom stop that sentence. A big brown layer of chocolate surrounded her mouth.

"Go whine in a corner little red bitch" Eva said, while making some kind of strange face (4). Bloom quickly obeyed, acting really OC-ish.

"How did you get her..?" Musa stuttered.

"I'm the freaking author of this story, I could make you dance around the forest threw poison ivy... naked..." Eva grinned evilly. The girls just slowly backed away. They just stayed silent, hoping nothing bad would happen to them.

"Well, I'll be off now, gimme a group hug!" Eva said happily, after just finishing her big chocolate bar. While the girls slowly walked to her, just to give her a quick hug, a butterfly fluttered by.

"BUTTYFLY!" Eva screamed, starting to chase the butterfly. She simply knocked over Stella, while stepping on her new nose (5). While the girls still wondered what just happened and where to find Bloom, something fell out of the sky and splattered onto the ground. Blood spat on the girl's clothes and bodies.

"Was that...?"

_(1) Grab every first letter from the names and you get... ASSWHOLE x33 I didn't plan that till half way making up the name hehe._

_(2) hmmm my favorite._

_(3) had to think of an other name for chocolate x33_

_(4) always wanted to say that..._

_(5) she takes surgery, I'm telling you x33_

**complete randomness, but I loved to write it! I'll probably delete this story in a day or two anyways x33. Read and Review if you haven't died of all the stupidity in this story...**

**But if I continue, there will only come what if...? stories, if I have inspiration for it x33.**


	2. The guys come too

**Alright, I first was planning to do this in the weekend, but then it was like: What the heck?! I'm doing it now x33**

**Another chapter of What if...?, hope you'll all enjoy. Also thanks to everyone who reviewed! Thanks to you all the story is still up, cause I thought people wouldn't like the story because it's so full of nonsense! But it was the total opposite, and I'm glad so -**

**For the people who didn't get it: the "thing" that splashed on the ground at the end of chapter 1, was Kiko X33 I threw him up in the air somewhere at the beginning of the chapter :D I KILLED KIKO X33**

**Disclaimer: drops down a cliff That didn't hurt :D some random stupid guy walks by and tries the same 0.o that's pretty stupid!!**

**Second disclaimer: I don't own Winx Club (do I have to repeat that? It's boring!!)**

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"So, if I get this right, this girl appeared, calling herself Eva, she kills Kiko by throwing him up too high in the air, sees a butterfly, steps on Stella's nose and disappeared again?" Brandon said in one breath. Techna nodded. That was about the whole story. The strange girl had disappeared as quick as she came, leaving all the girls in awe. Stella, of course, immediately called her 'schnookums' (4kids) to protect them from her. By that time Bloom had come out of the corner, now whining over the remains of her beloved Kiko.

"you girls are just asking for attention if you ask me." Riven stated, as if it was only logical.

"But nobody asked you something so shut it!" Musa said to him, giving him a small punch against his arm.

"I'm so afraid schnookums, what if that... thing comes back?" Stella asked Brandon terrified, holding a tissue against her nose.

"Yeah, that would be really, really bad!" someone said.

"Who's there?!" Bloom yelled, while holding two bunny ears and a foot in her arms.

"The tree of course!" the person screamed back. Everyone looked up to the tree where the voice came from. The girls were terrified, and the guys felt kind of awkward. This was the terrible, Kiko-murdering girl? The girl, obviously Eva, jumped out of the tree, landing perfectly on her feet (1).

"I can see by your faces that you missed me!" Eva smiled. The girls were anything but happy to see her again though.

"I'm sorry that I ran after that dangerous sable tooth tiger all by myself, but I cut him in half, so he will no longer be a threat!" Eva stated.

"But... you went after a butterfly..." Musa said.

"That's what he wanted you to think!" Eva replied, holding up her finger, staring at Musa with one eye. Then she saw the leva-bikes of the guys, seeming not noticing those living organisms. She slowly walked to Sky's leva-bike, touching it softly. She slowly stroke over the smooth metal, almost hypnotized.

"Now that's a great girl, I don't see the threat in her!" Sky smiled, glad to see there was another girl besides Layla that likes bikes. Suddenly there was a loud 'CLANG!'. Everybody looked to the source of it. Eva stood there, looking kind of foolish with those big blue eyes as cups. There was a large dent in Sky's leva-bike.

"My baby!" Sky cried. He hurried over to his bike, stroking it, whispering sweet words to it, like it would help making the dent disappear. A whole waterfall came out of his eyes.

"Wha...What... happened... to m-my... baby?" Sky sobbed.

"Well, there was this HUGE unicorn, who flew over. Which was pretty strange, cause I didn't see any wings. What wasn't so strange about it was that the unicorn was light purple with golden spots, so I figured he had to be a half invisible unicorn. Then, he landed, and he looked really smart, we chatted about philosophers and world leaders for hours. But he wasn't that smart, cause he said he was a girl. So then he flew off again, and I said like: say hello to your girlfriend from me! And then he was like: I will you stupid. He said something behind it, but I just said: Kid's show!" Eva told.

"What does that have to do with my bike?!" Sky sobbed.

"Your bike? That's my bike!" Eva stated.

"What? It's not yours!" Sky said, whipping away his tears.

"It's ... mine..." Eva slowly growled. Sky started to cry again, and he ran to the other guys, seeking comfort he didn't get. So he ran off to drown himself, but he didn't succeed in that. So he went to a psychologist, but he got kicked out. So he went to a candy store, but he got kicked out of there too because he scared the little children. Then he bought a computer and tried online dating, which didn't work out. The fat, 70 years old, ugly prostitute thought she was too good for him. He sold his computer again, and bought three giant lollypops of the money he got. He didn't get to touch them though, cause Eva grabbed the away from him, leaving him weeping. In the end he just threw himself off a balcony, thinking why he didn't do this earlier. But now back to the less great things in the world.

"Oooh..." Eva said slowly, observing the other boys. Without warning, she ran to them, jumped, and landed on Riven's back.

"PIGGY-BACK RIDE!!" she yelled in Riven's ears. Strangely enough, Riven obeyed (2). While Riven walked around with the girl on his back, Eva made small noises of delight. Confusing as it already was, Riven laughed about it.

"Riven never gave me a piggy-back ride.." Musa said, puking her lip, sobbing softly. The girls closed her around them, giving a small group hug.

"NOOOOO!" Eva suddenly said, grabbing Layla by her sides and throws her away threw the air. The girls just stared, eyes like bowling balls.

"Pfiew, just in time to break the necromantic (3) spell of giggly-toes!" Eva said relieved.

"THAT WASN'T A NESORATIC SPELL! THAT WAS A GROUP HUG!" Stella screamed. Eva pulled out some dorky glasses from out of nowhere, putting them on her nose.

"I said necromantic my dear, which comes from necromancy, that means black arts." She said, removing the glasses again.

"I DON'T CARE! YOU THREW LAYLA TO WHO KNOWS WHERE!" Stella yelled back.

"Actually, I threw her to Neverland, but don't worry, Peter (4) will take great care of her!" Eva smiled. The girls just stared, wondering what to do.

"You know I saved you guys out of a lot of trouble, that necromantic spell could have giving you giggly-toes for the rest of your lives! You may buy me an ice cream now." Eva said, not knowing or just ignoring the stares.

"We didn't do any necromantic spells, we're not witches." Techna said, slightly confused for once.

"Necromantic? What the heck does that mean? And witches don't exist, just like faeries and Canada(5)!" Eva replied confident. Before anyone could answer, she hopped on the back of Riven again. She pulled out a toy sword, and screamed:

"Let us be smart enough to trap the ice cream car, be brave enough to step forward about it, and strong enough to spoon up that cold ice cream!" with that, Riven and the other guys stormed off, also having toy swords for some reason. Timmy even had a little plastic Roman soldier helmet on his head. The girls were left alone, minus Layla that is.

"he Musa?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you lost your boyfriend to a maniac..."

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(1) I wish I could do that :D wait, that's me who does that in this story x33

(2) I just love Riven, don't you? Hehe x33

(3) A yay for my Dutch test I made :D

(4) Peter Pan x33

(5) sorry for the Canadians! Don't shoot me!!

**Hehe, Riven is mine now x33. Sorry if it's less funny then the last one, maybe I should make the next chapter the same as I made the first: in the dark, awake because of golden power (energy drink) thanks to my friends, still in need to brush my teeth for the night.**

**Sorry if some people expected more from the other guys, but I like ruining Sky and I'm just in love with our tough-guy Rivy x33 I'm in love with 2d cartoons :D I'm so proud of me x33**


	3. A guest

**Tada! New chapter, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Iginio owns Winx, not me**

**Dedication: For LadyNightSky, for being my beta reader for this chapter, and Chibi Horsewoman who wanted to appear in this story ******

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The Winx Club left the hospital wing. Each of their guys had been found unconscious, not remembering any events after their breakfast. The girls were confident it was the work of Eva, she was crazy enough for it. They still needed to find Layla too. While they were speculating about what happened, there was a little cough from behind them. Terrified, they looked slowly over their shoulders. But it wasn't Eva standing there, to their relief.

"Do you know where Anna Sophia Sandra Wilhelmina Helen Olivia Laurentin Evelyn von Squishborg the Twenty-fourth is?" It was Chibi Horsewoman, looking quite innocent.

"Uhm, who?" Flora asked.

"Did she tell you her name was Eva?" Chibi Horsewoman sighed.

"What? Do you mean that's not her real name?" Stella frowned.

"Of course it's her real name, stupid!" Chibi Horsewoman replied, rolling her eyes.

"Who are you then?" Bloom asked. The girls were getting suspicious.

"My name is Princess Angelina Francesca Banana Fana Fo Fesca the Third... but you can call me... Dot." The girls' eyes grew wide. Not another one. (1)

"DOT!" a too familiar voice screamed threw the hallway. Knowing whom the person was, the girls screamed and ran away as hard as they could, heading to their dormitories. Though they didn't hear footsteps behind them, they kept running until they locked their doors with four magical and normal locks.

"Do... you... do you think... they... followed us?" Bloom panted.

"Can't be, at the speed we went, and assuming they didn't start chasing us within 10 seconds, they shouldn't know where we are." Techna said. She kept tapping on her computer, checking for miscalculations. Everyone watched Techna. Hopefully she would be right.

"WIFFLE BAT POWERRRRR!" with that, Dot hit Bloom's head multiple times with a wiffle bat. With a stupefied look on her face, Bloom smacked on the floor.

"Oh, I think you got that spider good!" Eva squealed. Musa already started pulling the locks in panic.

"Yeah, look at those legs!" Dot replied, holding up a big lock of hair from Bloom.

"That's her hair!" Stella yelled, before covering up her mouth. She shouldn't have said that. Dot held up her wiffle bat, before starting to sob.

"That's it! I'm going home to mother, but I'm keeping the ring!" Dot said, grabbing Stella's ring from her finger.

"Meany!" Eva said, pushing Stella forward, towards Dot. Dot pushed Stella back. Eva did the same. Dot too. And so on. Stella had become like a little ball being thrown over back and forth.

"WIFFLE BAT POWERRRRR!" Dot yelled, before smacking Stella out of the window with her wiffle bat. Somewhere in the courtyard you could hear someone say 'ouch my nose!'

"Gimme a D, gimme an O, gimme a T, gooo DOT!" Eva yelled excitedly, using two of Flora's most beautiful and sensitive plants as pompoms. The plants started to growl at rude treatment. Eva just stared with a goofy look at the plants.

"Give me those plants!" Flora quickly took back her plants, but they weren't amused. They bit her in her arm.

"Ouch you stupid f..." Flora started. Dot and Eva skipped in the scene with a censored sign, blocking what Flora was doing. Some happy waiting song started to play. While waiting, Eva randomly checked her nails and Dot checked her watch and did her hair. The waiting music stopped for a while and Eva and Dot removed the censored sign, so they could check what was going on.

"You bit me you d..." Flora yelled at one of the plants, holding up a fist against it, ready to hit it. The other plant tried to escape by throwing itself off the balcony. Eva and Dot quickly set up the censored sign again and the waiting music. Eva made a few braids in Dot's hair, Dot put stripes on Eva's face with lipstick, and they played a few games of chess.

"Aren't you done yet?!" Eva yelled at Flora, who was still swearing at the plant.

"May I borrow this?" Eva pointed at Dot's wiffle bat. Dot nodded. There was a 'bang!' and the censored sign and the waiting music were removed. The new scene consisted of a Flora that was tied up like a cow in the Wild West and a dungeon. The other girls' jaw dropped.

"I wanna trash their room! Can we, can we? Please?" Eva begged Dot. Dot seemed to think for a moment, holding her chin in her hand.

"Alright, but we're sharing the candy!" Dot answered. With that, they both ran into the room of Techna and Musa. Techna and Musa slowly followed, afraid of what was going to happen. Eva was checking Techna's computer while Dot searched through Musa's part of the room.

"Oooh..." Eva blushed. A X-rated movie displayed itself on Techna's computer screen. Techna blushed crimson.

"Techna, I never knew you thought about me that way..."Eva stared at Techna shyly. Techna just looked disgusted.

"Look what I found!" Dot yelled.

"Candy?" Eva yelled back, even though they were just about a few feet away from each other.

"Even better!" Dot held up some photos of Riven, obviously he didn't know that they got taken.

"Stalker, stalker, you're hit by a marker!" Dot screamed through the room while running circles and pointing at Musa. Musa had gotten the same color as her digital friend.

"Wait a second, Musa didn't get hit by a marker." Techna stated. The second after she said that, a red, white, blue and black marker hit Musa square in the face.

"You're right, it was markers!" Eva smiled. Techna ran towards the door, pulling the locks they had put on it. She had to escape of this madness. There were two of them now, one was too much already! But even though Techna made sounds like a mad bull while trying to escape, Dot and Eva still were fascinated by what was happening on Techna's computer screen.

"What's that thingy? Does every guy have such a thing?" Eva asked Dot, pointing to the screen.

"They all have one. All guys do." Dot answered.

"Eww, they have thingy between their legs all the time? Can't they wash it off or something?" Techna really needed to escape this madness, before she went mad herself. Foam started to create itself out of her mouth. She stumbled away from the door. While screaming, she ran onto the balcony and threw herself off it. Eva and Dot also went up to the balcony, staring at Techna, lying limp on the ground a few feet below them. Eva turned herself to Dot.

"So... what do guys do with that thing anyway?"

"Don't remember, but I'm hungry for ice cream..."

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(1) I'm calling Chibi Horsewoman Dot from here, that's shorter

(2) honor the power of the wiffle bat x33

**And that was it again. Thanks again to LadyNightSky for beta-reading and Chibi Horsewoman for just being in the chapter ******

**Until the next time x33**

**x33**


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